Do you have nothing else better to do? Check out this great cover of Enter Sandman on the Kazoo. It starts off kind of slow but it gets awesome..er..awesomer.
Metallica would be stupid not to invite this guy to join the band. This could return them to the great days of Ride the Lightning and Cliff Burton.
http://www.collegehumor.com/moogaloop/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1895034&fullscreen=1
Earlier this year a co-worker sent me a link and suggested that I try Twitter. Even before signing up for an account I really couldn’t grasp the concept of the tool. Is it meant to be a sort of mini blog or another way to let friends know when a new pimple pops up on my ass. It’s hard to tell. I haven’t seen any two people use it the same way.
Since I don’t see many using it as a mini blog, I’m going to assume it’s a way to keep their friends in the loop with their happenings. Which seems kind of stupid. Do I really want to know when someones walks into a gym, is in line to buy Hannah Montana tickets, or stubs their toe. Sooner or later it’s going to progress and they’re going to start twitting…twitted…tweet…posting every little detail about them you don’t want to know.
Let me show you the future of Twitter by taking you through a normal Saturday in my life.
SirRobbieRob I’m at Five Guys eating the greasiest burger known to man. I’m probably going to regret this later about 8 hours ago from the twitterberry
SirRobbieRob Having some serious cramps going on. These could probably be consider contractions. I think I’m having a baby…a butt baby. about 7 hours ago from twitterberry
SirRobbieRob The cold sweats have started. I really have to go the bathroom but holding out. In a weird way it feels really good holding it in. Like really, really good. about 7 hours ago from the web
SirRobbieRob Sweet baby Jesus! It’s been blasting out for 25 minutes non stop. This could be the WMD Bush was looking for. about 6 hours ago from the twitterberry
SirRobbieRob It’s over!!! Thank God! Time to start cleaning up. Hopefully we have enough TP. about 6 hours ago from the twitterberry
SirRobbieRob Jump the gun. Its going again. This isn’t humanly possibly. No one is full of this much shit. about 6 hours ago from the twitterberry
SirRobbieRob If someone is reading this, please help. I’ve lost all muscle control and can’t stop. I may pass out soon. about 6 hours ago from the twitterberry
SirRobbieRob I’ve been wiping on and off for 15 minutes. My ass is really sore, probably going to get a hemroid. I need to remind Alev to buy some baby wipes. about 6 hours ago from the twitterberry
SirRobbieRob ewww I got poo on my finger. Does this day get any worse. about 5 hours ago from the twitterberry
SirRobbieRob Yes, yes it does. I just gave myself a dirty sanchez… about 5 hours ago from the twitterberry
SirRobbieRob Clean up is done. My ass is sore. All I smell is poo. about 5 hours ago from the twitterberry
SirRobbieRob I’m exhausted and going to take a nap. Thanks to twitter I didn’t have to go thru this nightmare alone. about 4 hours ago from the twitterberry
Besides my stalker (Merry Christmas John!), does anyone really want that much detail about my life. I know I don’t want to know that much about yours…unless you’re a cool celebrity like David Spade or Fabio.
Maybe that’s it! We all want to be a cool celebrity like David Spade and like thinking people give a crap about our happenings and whereabouts. If that’s the case, I have a better idea than twitter.
How about a Rent-A-Stalker service? (I can’t take credit for this idea. It’s all my stalker’s idea. Thanks John and don’t worry, I ‘m working on that restraining order. Should be ready by XMas.) You would have someone to follow you everywhere and , if you choose (additional fee), kill you on your front lawn. This service would allow you the opportunity to live a life similar to Paula Abdul or Madonna…without the money of course.
Rent-A-Stalker…the new twitter! Ch-Ching
Happy Holidays!
If you get a minute, post a comment about your thoughts on twitter and how you use it.
If you ARE interested in knowing about my bathroom habits, feel free to head over to Twitter and follow me; http://twitter.com/SirRobbieRob
I’m a huge fan of the 80′s cartoon, The Thundercats. To say the least, I’m a little excited about the live action movie that is in the works. But there is no telling when that might actually see the light of day. Thankfully, there are a bunch of fanboys with some serious skills. The latest in fanboy created material is a really impressive trailer starring Brad Pitt, Vin Diesel, Garfield, and more.
Check it out.
Another awesome example of why Bollywood is greater than Hollywood.
Supposedly, the main guy in the video is a “great dance master”. The guy’s name is Prabhu Deva and a quick look on YouTube finds a ton of great treasures.
It makes me want to move over there and become an international pop star. Imagine it now…so sweet!
It’s pretty awesome that NASA has finally figured out how to recycle urine into drinking water. When this hits the home market it’s going to help save me a ton on buying bottled water.
My sides hurt from laughing so hard.
The best thing to happen to Saturday Night Live in recent memory is the comic trio of Andy Samberg, Akiva Schaffer, and Jorma Taccone. They’re responsible for all of the Digital Shorts you see on SNL almost every week. I’m sure you’ve seen some of these, like Dick in a Box with Justin Timberlake or Lazy Sunday. Here is the latest Digital Short from last nights SNL. Pure Gold!
You can’t go to any big news site without reading something about the big 3 automakers seeking a 25 billion dollar bailout from Congress. All 3 of them are in danger of running out of money which means 750,000 Americans would be out of a job. I’m not sure if that includes the jobs that depend on the automakers for business but that number has the potential to be a lot higher.
Even so, Congress should not bailout the US automakers for their stupid ass business decisions. You don’t see the Japanese automakers begging for money. Yeah, they’re not making the profits they would like to be, but they’re making some profit. Even a retarded yeti could have told you banking on big ass trucks in today’s world is plain stupid. You would think with all that money you have invested in your SUVs and Pickups, you would have the best out there. But that’s not even the case. Toyota Tacoma and Tundra’s are far superior in quality. But that’s all history, we can’t change the fact you thought selling turds with your emblem would be enough to get you by. We need to look to the future. We need someone to come in and steer us in the right direction.
I think I know the right person for the job.
Me!
I have a plan that I think will work. It’s pretty simple.
Bail my ass out!
Give me the money to pay off my debts. That way I can start over, and I don’t mean start over by cleaning the slate and learning from past mistakes. I mean pay off my debt and I will go full out, racking it right back up, injecting that money right back into the economy. I will even do better than that…I will double the amount of debt I get into. Maybe I will even use some of the money to buy a crappy American car (See this plan will even help the automakers). In order for this plan to work, every American must be bailed out. I’m fairly certain this would help get us out of a recession.
Unfortunately, it will probably come right back around because I (we) would not be able to pay off the new debt. But that is easy enough to fix. Just bail me (us) out again! I (we) will turn around and triple the amount of debt I (we…you get the point) got into originally.
You may be saying to yourself “This is, by far, the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard”
I respond to this with a question; How is this any different than bailing out the automakers? What are they going to change if they get the money? Ohhh the CEOs are going to work for $1 a year. Nice plan dipshit. They will work for $1, but they will continue producing SUVs and Trucks that no one is going to buy. They need time to shift their focus from Trucks, SUVs, and retro Muscle Cars (I’m a sucker, that new Dodge Challenger looks sexy, don’t forget the Chevy Camaro coming out) to making some economy class cars that consumers want to drive. That isn’t going to happen anytime soon, so they will be back sometime next year asking for more money.
So Congress, hurry up and bail ME out. I have my eye on a Ferrari I can’t afford.
We have just hit our 2 month mark since arriving in North Carolina. For the most part it has been an easy transition for us. We live in a nice apartment, surrounded by beautiful trees, and Alev is loving the cold weather (not me). All in All, we are loving living on the east coast.
There is one thing that worries me. The people of the Carolinas are some of the nicest people you will ever meet…until they get into their cars. As soon as they get into the car and turn the ignition, they turn into blood thirsty animals. They will run you off the road and not even blink, if it means getting to their destination quicker.
Do you need to change lanes from the access ramp to the highway? Forget about it. They won’t let you in. The only way you will get on is by having the same thirst for blood as them. You have to be willing to swap paint to get home.
North Carolina doesn’t seem to like protected green light turns. It seems like every light is a yield only on green. So you need to turn into that shopping center to buy your ailing grandmother a get well card? Tough shit! It ain’t going to happen. Even if you get a break in traffic, somewhere a sensor goes off and a crazy ass old lady will come out of nowhere to make sure you can’t turn. Sorry Grans.
Driving on a single lane road and need to make a left turn? OHHHH so sorry. In this scenario, it would be safer for you to go on a 18 month tour in Iraq. If you have to stop and wait for oncoming traffic, you’re holding up traffic behind you. This really pisses off the Carolinians…Carolinites…whatever. Looking in your rear view mirror you can see Bubba pulling out his rifle and his mouth start to water. Thirst for blood I’m telling you.
Want to go out for a nice ride on your motorcycle? HAHA sucker. On your bike you do not exist, think woman in corporate America (zing!). I have been riding on the streets for a little over a year. Most of that time was in Texas. In Texas, I had maybe 3 times where a driver failed to notice me and pushed me off the road. Since being in NC, I bested this number in the first week. If they happen to realize they pushed you off the road in most cases they will give you that wtf? face.
I now know why my auto insurance tripled just by moving to North Carolina. All you drivers in NC are effin nuts. I’m thinking about running for some public office and pushing mandatory anger management classes when applying for a drivers license. I will also push for the state motto to be changed to “The Jekyll and Hyde State”.
© 2004 - 2012 Rob Mitchell
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