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What’s the Point of Twitter?

December 24th, 2008

Earlier this year a co-worker sent me a link and suggested that I try Twitter. Even before signing up for an account I really couldn’t grasp the concept of the tool. Is it meant to be a sort of mini blog or another way to let friends know when a new pimple pops up on my ass. It’s hard to tell. I haven’t seen any two people use it the same way.

Since I don’t see many using it as a mini blog, I’m going to assume it’s a way to keep their friends in the loop with their happenings. Which seems kind of stupid. Do I really want to know when someones walks into a gym, is in line to buy Hannah Montana tickets, or stubs their toe.  Sooner or later it’s going to progress and they’re going to start twitting…twitted…tweet…posting every little detail about them you don’t want to know. 

Let me show you the future of Twitter by taking you through a normal Saturday in my life. 

SirRobbieRob I’m at Five Guys eating the greasiest burger known to man. I’m probably going to regret this later about 8 hours ago from the twitterberry

SirRobbieRob Having some serious cramps going on. These could probably be consider contractions. I think I’m having a baby…a butt baby. about 7 hours ago from twitterberry

SirRobbieRob The cold sweats have started. I really have to go the bathroom but holding out. In a weird way it feels really good holding it in. Like really, really good. about 7 hours ago from the web

SirRobbieRob Sweet baby Jesus! It’s been blasting out for 25 minutes non stop. This could be the WMD Bush was looking for. about 6 hours ago from the twitterberry

SirRobbieRob It’s over!!! Thank God! Time to start cleaning up. Hopefully we have enough TP. about 6 hours ago from the twitterberry

SirRobbieRob Jump the gun. Its going again. This isn’t humanly possibly. No one is full of this much shit. about 6 hours ago from the twitterberry

SirRobbieRob If someone is reading this, please help. I’ve lost all muscle control and can’t stop. I may pass out soon. about 6 hours ago from the twitterberry

SirRobbieRob I’ve been wiping on and off for 15 minutes. My ass is really sore, probably going to get a hemroid. I need to remind Alev to buy some baby wipes. about 6 hours ago from the twitterberry

SirRobbieRob ewww I got poo on my finger. Does this day get any worse. about 5 hours ago from the twitterberry

SirRobbieRob Yes, yes it does. I just gave myself a dirty sanchez… about 5 hours ago from the twitterberry

SirRobbieRob Clean up is done. My ass is sore. All I smell is poo. about 5 hours ago from the twitterberry

SirRobbieRob I’m exhausted and going to take a nap. Thanks to twitter I didn’t have to go thru this nightmare alone. about 4 hours ago from the twitterberry

Besides my stalker (Merry Christmas John!), does anyone really want that much detail about my life. I know I don’t want to know that much about yours…unless you’re a cool celebrity like David Spade or Fabio. 

Maybe that’s it! We all want to be a cool celebrity like David Spade and like thinking people give a crap about our happenings and whereabouts. If that’s the case,  I have a better idea than twitter.

How about a Rent-A-Stalker service?  (I can’t take credit for this idea. It’s all my stalker’s idea. Thanks John and don’t worry, I ‘m working on that restraining order. Should be ready by XMas.) You would have someone to follow you everywhere and , if you choose (additional fee), kill you on your front lawn. This service would allow you the opportunity to live a life similar to Paula Abdul or Madonna…without the money of course. 

Rent-A-Stalker…the new twitter! Ch-Ching

 

Happy Holidays!

 

If you get a minute, post a comment about your thoughts on twitter and how you use it.

If you ARE interested in knowing about my bathroom habits, feel free to head over to Twitter and follow me; http://twitter.com/SirRobbieRob

  • http://thefitnessdiva.blogspot.com The Fitness Diva

    I’ve been on the Twitter bandwagon for a little over a month now, and it’s really all about who you follow. I try to follow people that I can learn cool shit from, not just dummies out there posting about blowing their nose or cooking corn and potatoes or something.
    However, there are some folks on there that just really don’t have a clue, and will post you their every passing f*cking mundane thought, to the point where your whole Twitter page is filled up with their crap.
    But I follow try to follow cool people that teach or inspire me Like Lance Armstrong, tech and internet developers, business CEO’s, and anybody that I can learn to make a damn million from, or who can teach me something about being a better businesswoman. Sounds exciting I know, yeah, but to me, it is. You can get a lot from Twitter. It’s all about how you use it.

    I also unfollow people that don’t follow me back. Hell, I’m just as important and tweetworthy as the next person, as far as I’m concerned. You should WANT to know what the hell I’m doin’! ;) If not, you suck!

    Oh, and if you’re only gonna post about your bowel movements, and what you ate to make them happen, Robbie, I will NOT be following your ass! ;)

    Enjoy being a Twit! :D

  • http://dratiffarid.today.com Atif

    I don’t use it to tell what I am doing usually. I use it only for my latest posts and get about 10+ views/day (it’s good considering I have about 100 followers – so that’s 10%)

  • http://slightlymordant.com Mik

    I joined but rarely use it, I just can’t be arsed to do that and my regular blogs.

    Following people in feed readers and visiting bogs takes up time as it is let alone checking Twitter too.

    Miks last blog post..Happy Holidays – Merry Christmas

  • http://deniseleeporter.net Denise Lee

    Duude, I am so with you on this. But I have starte dto follow some halfway intelligent people who occasionally post links to great content. I haven’t figured out the follow an dfollow back thing because it seems like a dog chasing it’s own tail, but I do what I’m told by my boy Sheen and am trying to get the hang of tweeting.

    Denise Lees last blog post..Why Are You Still Looking For Medical And Dental Insurance?

  • http://savesavesave.blogspot.com LJP

    Tee hee! Very amusing!!